Controlling women shorten your life.

I went through this very same dilemma. My ex gf tried hard to play the role of a caring, loving, mature person but she was really a controlling, self centered, selfish, narcissistic, high conflict, blaming, superficial, manipulative.... did I mention controlling?... women. On top of this was her obsession with marriage and starting a family (she was 44), yesterday if possible. When the focus was on her, she was a blissful Chatty Cathy doll x 10. If not, she was off in her own world trying to figure out how to be the center of attention again. She was a know-it-all type. She became depressed and belligerent when she didn't get her own way or people didn't act or speak the way she wanted. She was never wrong and always the victim. She could not stand any criticism or advice no matter how constructive or nicely put. She was always in conflict with people... family, boss, neighbors. If you crossed her, look out! She saw people in black and white; all good or all bad. I could definitely understand why my ex gf's past relationships always ended with the guys running from her. Of course, she made them all out to be crazy jerks. After much angst, worry and feelings of guilt... caused by her, I ended the relationship. Now I am one of those "crazy jerks" in her past. She just doesn't get what being in a relationship means. It means self sacrifice, facing problems together and being able to think "we" and "us" and not always "I" and "me". I know that my ex was this way because of an abusive, alcoholic father and a controlling mother who forced her kids to compete for attention and acceptance. But I was not going to martyr myself just to be with someone.

To conclude, I would think very hard about committing to married/family life with an emotionally shallow, immature, controlling woman. The abuse will only get worse. It will also be transferred onto your children. I would offer couples counseling and if she will not do it, it may be time to show her the door.