Response to your pros list

I can't find the date of your post. I can only assume you are still in need of help. Don't ignore the red flags. Make a list of all the times she was childish, selfish, blew up at you or gave you the silent treatment because you said something "wrong", called you names, pouted and acted depressed when she didn't get her way, made you feel guilty for having your own feelings and desires etc... Print it out and put it to memory. This should dominate your mind when you think of her... not the times she "graced you" with her good treatment and tolerance.

Caring...
She's not too caring if she calls you names and alienates you from your friends and family. Controlling women often play the role of a doting partner by cooking, cleaning, giving gifts, performing in the bedroom, idealizing you etc... This is an act. This is not love. This is manipulation. They reveal their true self by their abusive behavior when demands are placed on them. To them, someone's demands, needs, desires, feelings etc... are things they cannot control. They will fight tooth and nail to avoid and deflect these things that threaten their defenses against this irrational fear.

Fun to spend time with...
But she is also often - not fun- to spend time with... correct?

No kids & never been married...
There is often a reason behind this. And making marriage demands shows she only cares about her agenda and not your needs and feelings.

Organized (she does a great job keeping our apartment clean)....
controlling women usually are but at great cost to you
.
Honest - she would tell me anything and everything she thinks....
But is she emotionally mature, honest? Will she talk about these difficult issues you have about her and the relationship? Or does she berate and dismiss you?

Great at planning activities like birthday parties or special events....
Controlling women usually are but at great cost to you

The other things you mentioned are traits of a million other available women who are emotionally mature. I wish you luck and hope everything has turned out positively for you.