Getting married in two years instead of getting married in the three we originally planned on.

in

My boyfriend and I are big future planners; our lives are planned out as much as we would like them to be, with both of us (as our friends call us) being OCD as we are, we like to think ahead so things don't spring up on us and we are completely unaware of how to deal with such matters... this is one thing we can't decide on. He wants to get married in two years, I want to get married in three.

Pro: 
  • Financially we will get more money when it comes to applying for FAFSA as I am to head off to grad school soon and I'll definitely need it.
  • We can live together without disrespecting each other's moral values when I move to said grad school.
  • During the summers when we have no school to attend, we can work full time and still see each other instead of going to our respective houses and having to coordinate schedules.
  • We can go on insurance/phone plans together, saving us money that we would have spent unwisely in keeping plans separate.
  • We love each other enough that marriage has been discussed for quite a while, actually, for the majority of our relationship and we're definitely set on becoming Mr. and Mrs.
Con: 
  • I will not be able to afford a wedding of any size, so I'll just be signing papers and maybe going out to dinner with our families.
  • I feel that too many pros are the fact that money is tight between us having spent most of it on university.
  • I will see my family less, and I am very close to them.
  • I'll need to try to get more hours, which means I won't be seeing him nearly as much as I fantasize about.
  • I don't want to feel rushed into anything, even though we wouldn't be having a big wedding (and as we all know that comes with about 4 years worth of pre-planning before it can be executed without any stress!)
  • I don't want to feel "trapped" at a young age, as my girlfriends always say (even though I fancy myself wonderwoman, and think I can handle anything, I feel it's a realistic concern)
  • I don't feel my parents would be on board with me getting married so soon
  • I feel that we might procreate quickly and it would hamper my desire to finish out med school.

Con arguments

imho

Submitted by j4yne on Fri, 02/19/2010 - 18:59.

For a start - I think theat you should ask your finace to write the same pro/con list (as you're both sitting on different sides of the fence!) and see if he comes up with anything you didn't!

Having jsust got wed over a year ago, I waited a little longer than we could have to get wed because I wanted to save up for the wedding I had dreamed of since I was a little girl. In my eyes, I'm only going to get married once, so I wanted to do it properly - the way I wanted it, so to me, it was worth waiting the extra year to have it the way I wanted, and in the long run, the year doesn't make that much difference!

Saying that, I'm also terribly impatient - hence my pro/con list which is already on here!

Oh, and the point about procreating - don't fall into the trap that you're encouraged into, there is no hard and fast rule that says once you're married you must have children immediately - even though most of your wedding guests will ask you when the children are going to be coming along! (pet peeve!)

Good luck,
Jayne.

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