Husband or Friend

in

Recently my best male friend has come back into my life and told me that he has always wanted to be with me. We went through school together, even college and went on a few dates, but he never made a move back then. When I met my husband, my friend stepped aside. Many, many times while I was dating my husband, I wanted to tell my friend that I had feelings for him, but he always acted aloof. Now that I have been married for two years, and he has broken up with a girlfriend, he called and admitted his feelings. We talked for five hours, and he has driven down and spent time with my husband and I for the past two weekends. Nothing has happened between us; we have agreed to stay friends, and my husband actually likes him. Unfortunately, I can't stop thinking that I chose the wrong man. That I will spend the rest of my life married to the wrong person. Before I start having children, I want to straighten this out. What would you do?

Pro: 

Pros (Friend) :
Smart
Religious
Caring
Shared history
Handsome
Orthodontist
Reads for fun
Gets me
Wants to travel the world
My parents love him
Has liked me since I was 12

Pros (Husband):
Funny
Good with kids
Positive
Likes to go shopping
Similar taste in music/movies
Many friends
Husband
Came from a pretty normal family
Good in bed
Bad kisser

Con: 

Cons (friend):
Past brain injury
Could die young/forget me
Pretty negative
Could gain weight
Can be cold/cruel
Could become an alcoholic
Not sure if I like his family
Weird taste in movies/music
Will not go shopping
Poor dresser
Not nurturing by nature
350,000 in debt
Does not like to spend money

Cons (husband):
May stay overweight
Doesn’t believe in God
Not really my friend
I don’t love his family
Human Resources Generalist
Could turn into an alcoholic/drug user
Owns rental properties
Insensitive
Yells
My parents don’t like him
Not sure if he loves me

Pro arguments

Stay with your husband!

The friend you're talking about is negative and cruel. Enough said. If your husband has the more posotive attitude, then it will be more likely to work out in the long run. You're just feeling like the grass in greener, but trust me IT ISN'T!
Tell your husband that you aren't completely satisfied with your relationship as it is, and that you would like to connect with him on a deeper level. Seek marriage counseling. Work hard to get to know the deeper parts of each other. Women need to feel deeply connected, in order to feel loved. Men need to feel respected, in order to act loving towards their wives. Be respectful!
I left my husband for a friend of mine. It was great for about 10 months, then reality reared its ugly head. It isn't worth it! Don't do it!
Break off all contact with this friend. By the way, a true friend would never even suggest that you leave your husband or cheat. A true friend would have your best interests at heart, and would stay away from you out of respect for your situation. If he is hinting that you should get together, or that you'd be happier with him, then he is selfish.

New pro con lists

Propose!

Didn't find what you needed? Propose an item for pro con list and we'll ease your decision.

Newsletter

Subscribe to newsletter and be the first to know when pro con lists are posted.   Syndicate content