Marriage

He has a kid, BAGGAGE! Marriage is hard enough without having that instant baggage added. I believe a marriage when you are so young (which you are!) should start off with a clean slate. I don't think you should get married into this "family" that has a kid almost your age!

Sounds shady...so in 10 years you'll be 35 and he'll be 50 are you ok with that?

Ok so I already said this for someone else, but your pros are things that should come automatically, they're not specific to this one person, like: he is a good and kind person, he loves me, we love spending time together, we get along just fine, he takes care of me and spoils me, we make future plans together all the time, he offers me the security and the confort i need, he always helped me when i was in trouble. Actually all of these are your right and are not unique to this man. They're all really good things, if not for the cons.

The specific ones I REALLY didn't like are:

* he runs some strange businesses
* his past is not quite clean
* we talk about having a baby together, but i think he's too old to be a father again

If having a child is important to you, you might nto care now because you're only 25, but when you're 30 and 35 and the motherly hormones kick in, you sure will want one. Be clear with your future goals. His past is not clean. How past are we talking, in his teens, 20s, 30s? People don't change, you think he's ready to settle at 40? And do you know about his strange businesses? If he doesn't tell you about them, then he's not ready to get married. Don't let him pull the "i'm older" card on you...if he wants to be your husband, you have to know everything about him. And if his businesses effect your safety, like if he gets arrested, then you know what to do.