Stay or Go

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years. Lately, we've been arguing a lot, and it's always about the same things. We are both 27 years old, and I'm at point where I feel we should be taking things to the next step (getting married, moving in together), which he says he agrees with, but there are other things surrounding our relationship that are major turn-offs to me (see con list). Another major issue is, I live in NY and work in the fashion industry--the best place to find work is Manhattan, which is where I work now, but I live on Long Island and I'm spending a lot of money on the commute each month. I get home around 8pm everyday and I feel like I have no life. I want to move closer to the city and have a 15-20 minute commute versus an hour, and have more time to spend together...but he doesn't want to move that far away where he'd be making a commute to get to his job. His job isn't a career (and he's expressed that he's tired of working there) and I feel like if that's the case, why not start looking at other opportunities anyway? Why not look for a job closer to Manhattan?? I know in this day and age, we all should be happy to have a job, but there's nothing wrong with wanting to do better for yourself. He says I'm selfish for wanting to move for work. Lately, I've been feeling like I need to do what makes me happy. I've put up with other things over the years in this relationship that I never thought of ideal (him not having a car at one point, and living with mom). If I wasn't in a relationship, I would consider moving to California, because I recently visited and loved it there, but I haven't because I am in one, of course I wouldn't go that far without him. I love him and it's hard to imagine not being together after all this time, but I'm getting tired of not being happy. When we started dating, I was young and not sure of myself and where I saw myself in 5 years, but now I know what I want and where I want to be in life. It seems like he isn't there yet and we are on different pages. I sometimes wonder if I'm just settling because we've been together for a long time and I'm used to him. Am I being selfish??