Stay or Go? Relationship help please.

the arguments you've presented as con are very widely spread when it comes to men:). If you are in love and you are happy with him, give it some time

if you can accept him as it is and if you feel you can accept his past too, then stay in this relationship

The first three points in your con list are the bigger issues. I think it is extremely positive that even when things did fall apart in his previous relationship he has maintained that which is extremely important i.e. his child. It says a lot about him as a person who has faced and been in a very difficult situation and his handling of it. I would suggest however that you find out reasons behind his first divorce before committing.

As for the rest of his Cons, his drive + stamina seems somewhat opposite to yours which is a good thing in a long term relationship i think simply because you need 1 person to drive and the other to happily come along. If you were both extremely forceful and stuck to your guns then the relationship wouldn't survive. Lastly, marriage/relationship is a materialistic thing hence you should have big bonuses in your relationship that will tide you over all the comprises that one makes during this time. Anyway...that is my two cents. Hope you decide what is best for you.

I'd say stick with him.  Nobody is perfect and he sounds like a good guy.  I can certainly see your apprehension to stay with someone who is divorced but I wouldnt worry about it too much if the relationship feels right.  Plus his flaws are common to many men. 

I get what you're trying to say about him being lazy and stuff cause I deal with that and it sucks. You should talk to him about it and if you can compromise and you really think this guy is the one for you then make it work. It'll be worth it in the end but if you're having a lot of second thoughts then step back and look at it but it sounds like he's willing to make a long term commitment with you and make it work

Good Luck!

i had the same situation when i met my husband. He had a 4 year old with his ex wife. I never thought i would find myself in a situation where i would potentially be a step-mother figure. almost 4 years later we are married, have a 6 month old and I am stepmother to a wonderful step daughter I love like she is my own! I also have a friendly relationship with my husband's ex wife.

i say pro cause im in the same situation... the person who wrote on the con list "can you handle it?" i think had it right... its a lot to deal with, and really only time will tell. sometimes love just isnt enough. i have a great guy but all the things hes got goin on in his life make it difficult to be in a relationship, i just want it to be easy, but then again some ppl say relationships take work and work is not always easy. No ones relationship is perfect, looking in from the outside everything may seem fine but looking inside for the insdie could be another story, also some people have a higher tolerance for bullshit unlike myself. For the most part men are stupid and its really hard dealing with stupid. We see things in colors and men see things in black and white. Hungry, horny, money ect ect when theyre grandpas they turn into men

Have you tried the big talk? it always reveals the true nature of a person...

Your pros (attractive, right religion) seem not as important as the cons (kid, communication style, lack of drive), which sound like things that will really drive you crazy in the long run. If you don't like his communication style and think he doesn't have enough drive, I think you will lose respect for him eventually, and then you're cooked. His having a kid is not a bad thing, but you list it as a con, which is not a good sign. The kid will be in your life for many years, and some of those years will probably be very difficult. Can you take it?