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Stay or Move on?
in
I've been together with my boyfriend for 5 years (I met him when I was 23 y.o., now I'm 28). We've been living together for 3 years. He is an older man by 15 years but has some qualities that I think are great but some qualities that I think will never change since he is now in his forties. I'm coming to a crossroads in my life where I'm making great power moves for my career (applying for my PhD) and in a year I will have the option of moving out of our relationship or staying. I know I'm still young enough to meet and experience new people in my life, but this relationship has taken the place of the time when I should've been doing that. Is it too late?...I don't know. However, I need your input in what direction I should head...So here you are and thanks.
Pro:
He knows that a relationship is built on loyalty, and he is extremely loyal and would never stray.
He will give me the last dollar in his pocket before he would spend it on himself
He professes his love and acknowledges me as a significant person in his life to me and to others
He's gotten to know my family these past 5 years and has a great relationship with them
He is a great person to laugh with...I sometimes think he is a certified comedian
He accepts my imperfections and wants me to improve in areas that I'm self conscious with
He encourages me in my goals
He will protect me from anything and anyone
He sees me in his future
He would make a great father
He is handsome and a great dresser (picture suits/ties/GQ)
Con:
He is too protective, which in turn, inhibits me from having a life with friends outside of me and him
I would like to have outside friends and/or build a relationship with other couples, but socially, my boyfriend embarrasses me either by:
- canoodling too much
- saying the same "how we met" stories too much
- joking too much
- bringing up political conversations too much
- ...everything is too much, where I feel he's so insecure with himself that he tries to overcompensate
He never graduated high-school, may have learning disability and he doesn't have a special skill or trade which prevents him from getting better employment
Can not do some simple tasks, including using a computer or driving, which prevents him from better employment as well
Makes a quarter of what I make in income, which is a stressor to our daily lives
He is horrible with money and can never save, which worries me about our future
Yes, he'll spend his last dollar on me, but if he has extra, he will drink alcohol, which only happens when he gets a paycheck
He has a drinking problem, where one is just not enough...which also prevents me from building relationships with outside friends and couples
His goals (or what he says are his goals) are achievable, but I do not see him doing anything to even come close to reaching them
To him, it's all or nothing when it comes to personal or relationship improvement
Not adventurist...we've been doing the same things over and over for the past 5 years, which pretty much includes watching movies
Talks a lot of talk without walking the walk
When he can pick me up, he can certainly put me down to the point of making me sob...which reminds me of a father-like entity
He is impotent and I am no longer sexually attracted to him for about 2-3 years...I don't know if it's our financial situation, being in a relationship for so long (like married couples), or perhaps this surprisingly long con list...
New pro con lists
So I am torn between living on campus next year or continuing to commute. my friends are getting an awesome on-campus apartment and I really want to live with them. However.
I have been with this guy for about 4 months and things were pretty good until he broke his leg. He became very hard to deal with and started being rude to myself and my children.
Stay or leave the relationship?
A year and 2 months together, used to live together, now staying apart due to work/ accommodation reasons. 3 years younger than me.ive been in a realtionship and living with my man for 5 years but last year we broke up and weren't together for 1 year we recenlty got back togther just got married in november and its now feb 2012 w
I've been living away from home for 2years, I have had serious problems here with people and work but I also fell in love,should I stay or go?
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